McSweeney’s Internet Tendency:

Metroid: You have killed a mosquito with hairspray.

The Legend of Zelda: You have carried a piece of string cheese behind your ear for a whole day.

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link: You have used an oversized licorice whip as a jumprope.

Castlevania: You have killed a fly with an algebra test.

Super Mario Bros.: You have hit a wiffle ball with a skateboard deck.

Super Mario Bros. 2: You have hit a moth with a tennis racquet.

Super Mario Bros. 3: You have attempted to carbonate milk.

Tecmo Bowl: You have attempted to skateboard while wearing roller skates.

Duck Hunt: You have injured yourself trying to drink out of a sprinkler.

Via kottke.org